'Universal' schedule table defintion

Anyone ever seen a table definition for schedules that could handle the following:

'Every 3rd Thurday, except for national holidays'
'from 8 AM to 10PM, closed 12-1pm and 6-7pm'
'The period of time Thursday the Xth, xxxx to Sunday the Yth, xxxx,
   11am to 8pm Thursday and Friday, 8am to 6pm Saturday and Sunday'
'Monday thru Friday 10-3pm' (my kind of hours!)

Obviously, I can do this with the strings above, but there is now way that the database could
search for occurences of those using the strings, unless I come up with a special 'schedule
language' and write a function to use in the select statement, (which I may have to do anyway).