To many of us, we absolutely are a community. Remember, there are people here who have been around for 20+ years, of which many have become close friends, having started working on PostgreSQL as a hobby. We have always seen the project as a community of like-minded technologists, and welcome others that wish to join, whether just to ask a single question or to hang around for the next 20 years. I do see your viewpoint, but I would counter that coming here for help (for example) is quite different from calling tech support at a vendor.
I fail to see how that makes everyone here part of a community anymore than I'm part of the "community" of regulars at a bar I walk into for the first time.
As I said, the rules can and should apply within the list, but applying them outside the list is odd and wreaks of authoritarianism.