Re: Press Release -- Just Waiting for Tom
От | greg@turnstep.com |
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Тема | Re: Press Release -- Just Waiting for Tom |
Дата | |
Msg-id | 1701963c7f6326b0ae3fba6e396eceb3@biglumber.com обсуждение исходный текст |
Ответ на | Press Release -- Just Waiting for Tom ("Josh Berkus" <josh@agliodbs.com>) |
Ответы |
Re: Press Release -- Just Waiting for Tom
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Список | pgsql-advocacy |
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- Hash: SHA1 > Last-minute copy edits, please, people? Be careful what you ask for! :) Away we go... The names at the top should indicate what country each person is in, perhaps next to the phone number in parenthesis. The "Contact: " should be on its own line, and perhaps say "Contacts:" since it refers to both Justin and Mark. "the best has gotten even better!" sounds pretty dorky. I'd move "freely available" to another sentence as it is wordy enough already. "version" should be spelled out - those reading may not naturally know what v7.3 means. We may want to simply call it a RDBMS, as it will be more familiar to the press than the ORDBMS acronym. Tough call. The first paragraph should probably have a little more emphasis on ideas like "features", "maturity", "stability", and "powerfulness" and a little less on the cost/savings angle. > saving business and government millions of dollars each year. Should this be "businesses and governments"? Perhaps simply "saving businesses millions...."? The quote attributions should have some sort of delimiter immediately before them, such as a single or double dash. Some of the quotes have bad grammar (esp. the Mohawk one) but if it is a verbatim quote, there is not much that can be done. A period after "ODBC" and a capital "W" might be acceptable however? > The worldwide PostgreSQL community is very excited about this release, > which includes numerous modifications and enhancements thanks to the > contributions of 573 developers and thousands of volunteer testers > from more than 30 countries. I think an abstract number for the developers would sound better and be more truthful: "over 570 developers". I also didn't like the fact that my previous parsing only found 38 countries, so I did some more digging in the email lists and we can definitely say "over 50" if the number is including "testers" as well as "developers". I found: fi, pt, cl, hr, in, lk, sg, py, tb, and many others to easily boost the number to over 50. :) > "This is a quote from Tom Lane about the > new version," said Tom Lane, a PostgreSQL Core > Developer. Among the advances in version 7.3 are: The "Among" should probably begin a new paragraph. Maybe the Tom quote as well, depending on its length. > PostgreSQL now joins the handful of ORDBMSs to support The paragraph is good, but the "handful of ORDBMs" sounds awkward. Also, we should avoid English colloquialisms if possible due to the international nature of the site. Aside: "ORDBMSs" can be written as "ORDBMS's" - an apostrophe is acceptable usage as a plural when using an acronym ending in the letter S. > 7.3 has greatly simplified returning result sets of rows and columns in The product should be consistently referred to as "PostgreSQL" or "PostgreSQL 7.3", or even "Version 7.3", but not simply "7.3". > Oracle applications to PostgreSQL. "Oracle" will need a copyright symbol and a disclaimer on the bottom to be totally legit. > In response to community demands, PostgreSQL has added schema, > function, and other permissions and settings to increase the database > administrator's granular control over security. A bit awkward, but not too bad. > Other Enhancements > Version 7.3 also includes: The double indent looks a bit odd. Perhaps simply saying: "Other enhancements in version 7.3 include:"? > - Dozens of bug fixes and performance enhancements to maintain > PostgreSQL's leading position in ORDMBSs. This is the first time in this article that we have mentioned that we are in the "leading position" and it seems odd to throw it out here, at the bottom of the new features list. Also, the "dozens of bug fixes" implies dozens of bugs, so that could possibly be left out. > Source for this release is available on all mirrors under: > http://www.postgresql.org/pub/source/v7.3 This is a bad URL to give out. The URL as entered above into a browser returns a 404 error. (ideally it should return a list of mirrors and then redirect, but that's an issue for another day). In addition, the casual reader may not understand the concept of "mirrors". > http://advocacy.postgresql.org This should have a trailing slash on it. > A complete list of changes in v7.3 can be found in the HISTORY file, > included with the release, or available from all ftp mirrors as: > http://www.postgresql.org/README.v7_3 Same problem as above (404). In addition, the sudden mention of "ftp" mirrors could be confusing. Maybe we can redirect everything through the advocacy site? Linking to a page on advocacy that states the latest versions, how to get them, and links to the history file might be one way. > .. With it's long time support This should be "its"; it's is used only as a contraction. > .. triggers, and subqueries PostgreSQL Should be a comma after "subqueries" > is being used by many of todays most demanding businesses. "today's" should have an apostrophe. > Corporations such as BASF, Red Hat, Afilias Inc (managing the .org > and .info domains), Cisco, Chrysler, and 3Com rely on Afilias is a limited corporation, and should be written as "Afilias Limited" or simply "Afilias". The others have more official names (e.g. "Red Hat, Inc.") but the short names used above should be fine for a press release. > For more information on PostgreSQL, please visit > http://advocacy.postgresql.org. The URL should be on its own line, and include a trailing slash. Greg Sabino Mullane greg@turnstep.com PGP Key: 0x14964AC8 200211171757 -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Comment: http://www.turnstep.com/pgp.html iD8DBQE92CJWvJuQZxSWSsgRAj59AKCxE+gW6WmWICWDpIRJF91vzaaQbwCfRvHU P2T3tNVs1thi8WxXdq4LavI= =uOeA -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
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