Re: Press Release: new draft, PressKit.html
От | Jim Nasby |
---|---|
Тема | Re: Press Release: new draft, PressKit.html |
Дата | |
Msg-id | 623732BC-4A52-4A41-A447-8DAEAFECC61C@nasby.net обсуждение исходный текст |
Ответ на | Re: Press Release: new draft, PressKit.html ("Harald Armin Massa" <haraldarminmassa@gmail.com>) |
Список | pgsql-advocacy |
On Sep 25, 2006, at 3:13 AM, Harald Armin Massa wrote: > I like the structure of the features and especially how you > formulated the part with SQL 2003! > I am no native speaker of the English language. For me this > sentence is very very hard to digest: > > """Performance improvements: version 8.2 improves performance > around 20% > overall in high-end OLTP systems and even larger gains in data > warehousing > efficiency"" > > I had to read it around 3 times trying to get it; I was desperately > missing a verb for the "larger gains". > My recommendation is to split it into 2 sentences and add another > verb; at least an auxiliary one; that will make it also easier > splitable for journalists: "...OLTP systems with even larger..." > """Performance improvements: version 8.2 improves performance > around 20% > overall in high-end OLTP systems. There are even larger gains in > data warehousing > efficiency.""" Or that... > You explain OLTP further down: > > "Online Index Builds: lets OLTP (online transactional processing) > applications update tables while they are being indexed." > > I recommend to explain OLTP at its first occurence (counting > "first" on reading top down), rather than on its second. +1 > My latin-german-english comma-setting sense recommends another "," > before include: > > """Advanced database features, being offered in PostgreSQL 8.2 > before any other > major database system, include:""" > > because that "include" belongs to the "Advanced db features", and > "being....system" is an insertion. Actually, the whole thing sounds awkward to me. How about... This release also adds a number of advanced database features that have yet to be included in any other major database system, including: > and I think the last "," here can be dropped: > > """The changes include faster in-memory and on-disk > sorting, better multi-processor scaling, better planning of > partitioned > data queries, faster bulk loads, and vastly accelerated outer > joins.""" > > because "and" allready counts as separator between the elements of > this list. AFAIK either is acceptable, at least in US-ian english. Personally, I prefer keeping the comma. "which started at the University of California at Berkeley" - Is there another acceptable name, maybe University of California, Berkeley? The double-use of "at" so close together sounds awkward to me. -- Jim Nasby jimn@enterprisedb.com EnterpriseDB http://enterprisedb.com 512.569.9461 (cell)
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